Worst day ever...

2 day i thought i will be a shine day but end up i receive a words news fron shana..
I thought she play a joke on me...
So i asked her itz true??
Yes indeed...Our friend Abjun had past away this morning...
Hit and run by a drunk chinese guy at lintas traffic lite...
I receive the news around 9.25am and start there my tears cant stop falling down my cheek...
How can that be.
Abjun,the sweet and charming guy has pass away???
His condition is serious...
Head trauma...
He 2 young..
That is the 1st thing came into my mind...
They all arrive that the hospital..i didnt came coz i fear of hospital...
Shana saw him in the mortuatry room on the sreel bed...
JHow cant it break my heart juz by hearing that....
In my heart i felt sucks...
I lost a friend...
A wonderful friend that always make one laugh no matter what...
His tge epal of our heart...
One that will always be remember 4 his emo style...Vok dressing...His joke...his words..
And one that nvr left his pray..
May his soul is bless by Allah SWT...
Al-Fatihah 4 our dearest Abjun..

Like him but....

Well i knew him quite a long time but ya i admit 4 the 1st time i felt nothing 2 a hansom gorgeous man....
The weird thing is i asked for his name quite a no of time and i doesnt seem 2 remember it...Sign..(~_~)..
I felt nothing....not nerveous,x sweating..nothing...i just felt that this guy is sweet and treat me nice...So nice...But ya i know who is he...No way a guy like him will fall 4 a chubby fat girl like me...Way no...Guy like him sure will look 4 one that is beautiful and matching 2 him not like me one that is fat..hhmmm....
Well...bttr make a line 1st so that i wont fall 4 him so deeply...Eventhough i hope so but i know not in a trillion years...

The bigger surprise that I got…..

Today is the worst day ever that I had…
Shit…2day at my Taxation class I received a bad news from my brother. I didn’t think of it but I got the feeling already…Rupanya the news is my Aunt pass away…
And then few minute later, my sis call n she told me that the doctor in the hospital make a mistake…he made a mistake in the data...
Thanks God that is a faults alarm it not it will be a miserable day 4 my dad…Bcoz 2day at the same time is his bday…All everything so damn messy…
Sign……(~_~)

Throw down from Heaven to Hell...

Im breaking down…Im melting down…
I cant bear it anymore…
I suffering within…
I cant hand the pressure anymore…
I cried and the tears doesn’t seem to stop…
My heart are aching..
Within me its killing me…
Y cant I be success like other??
I cant I grad on time??
Y im so damn dumb..
Learn it but cant pass in the final,
I already try so hard but still can pass…
So hard…so hard…
Im so tired already…
Im giving up…
Time for me to admit that im stupid…
I forced myself even harder but still I cant…
Study day n nite till I sick,its ok…
I can handle it 4 the sake of my parent,
I work myself out but in the end I fall even harder…
I fall apart…
Its x that I don’t give the best but…..
My headache is killing me….
Im falling apart…save me…
Crumble down…into thousand piece of tiny sand….
I…..
SOS…someone help me!!!
Help me!!!
Save me…
Save my soul…

Bitter and sourness

Some think that is ok 2 repeat and have a failure in life...
But x me,i already damm tired ooo...
I really want to run away from it..
No like run away from the problem it juz,take a breath..
Deep2 breath...
I didnt blame anyone 4 this.
One that i blame is myself...
Myself for being stupid...
Last time when i knew about my result i think of lock up myself..
Be a quitter..
But i cant...
I knew i cant do that 4 the sake of my parent...
So 1 thing that i can do is keep on moving..
Move forward...
Dont look back...
What is past left it behind...
Dont turn around and look but juz think that as a lesson in life...
Failure that had been done to make me stronger and move forward...
Coz there nothing can be done eventhough i regret...